Lately I’ve been limiting my personal time spent online scrolling through so-called news feeds; this is ironic for two reasons. The first being my job requires me to work extensively online in blogging, social media, and video conversations, promotions, and creations. The second is I recently upgraded my phone and needless to say moving up in the smartphone world and yet turning off my data is a little backwards. But, I have a feeling my changing online habits are actually thanks to my job rather than in spite of it.
When I started this blog, I was beginning my two year graduate degree, a beginning that now feels ages ago. Now, another fall cycle has begun and I’m in my third year living in Toronto having jumped into an entirely new role as a student affairs professional. With this transition has come increased anxiety as well as excitement, all mixed together and changing with each moment. I have, however, had the chance to celebrate some first successes in my new role, a space where I feel supported to experiment as well as to fail, and it’s been these successes that have propelled me forward even in my moments of doubt. Today I had the pleasure of sharing a students’ personal reflection to the wide audience and when he told me it meant a good deal to him, it was as meaningful a success as I could hope for.
Some days, as I walk through the city on my daily pedestrian commute, I have to remind myself to look ahead of me instead of down at my feet. But this summer I also took the time to lay down and look up. Looking up is more than just for stargazing.
This post incorporates pieces from the paper I submitted to accompany the project, and I have also added new thoughts here and there. Grief is unique and incomparable in each instance, yet from having lost important people in the past couple years to the very recent passing of my grandma Kaye, the piece continues to speak. The timing of this post is not coincidental, as we find ourselves at the anniversary of the specific, sudden, and painful loss which inspired the project.